ham+asap =

there's a lot of things i want to say about .. everything.

1) im not sure whether papa just unfriend me on facebook or it just the effect because i deactivated my account last week. but everyone else in my friend list before and after deactivation seems fine.

2) im not that scared to plan out my own flight to m'sia. im ok with 2 hours journey to london. alone with luggage to go to heathrow airport. i know i will survive. but i am exceedingly terrified when i started to think about what will i face once i landed and meet mama, angah, aizat n ita n papa. will i still be the same person they knew? will my naked eyes read them like the way i used to?

3) there is so many uncertainty when it comes to future.

4) can i be patient enough to be repunzel who waited so long in that tower. i dont want to in and out from the house like hotels just because we cant get along. i dont want to have spare keys for the house when i cant hv my own freedom. i dont mind curfew thought, but please dont said i cant go out because you said so. that is so kuku besi ok. i have my own say since it is my life? right?

5) arghhhh sume pasal m'sia je.so kesimpulannye, aku tak pernah tegambar sikit pn nk duk sekali ngn mama n papa. i can stand few days like weekends. but to live for like a whole month. or maybe 2?! it just unimaginable.

6) belum balik pun da terasa kuku besi. maybe im just exaggerating. tapi if balik seminggu or 2 minggu awal just sebab jakarta trip tu and takde sape pn kat rumah while waiting tarikh trip jakarta tu, baiklah aku balik malaysia lambat terus. just because u dont like the idea im going to jakarta - a day after my arrival, doesnt mean i have to obey. maybe u just concern but i dont think so. maybe u think its inappropriate, but hell with it sukati la vacation orang kot. will u bring me along bile ade family vacation? hell no. how about raya? u never asked me to join your family kat kampung tu. u want me to respect u? maybe i can respect u as a sexagenarian or septuagenarian. but not as a ..u know what i mean. so..what the heck.

7) malangnyer, even 'what the heck' aku still gak obey ngan perintah sultan tuk aku balik a week after. benci betul!!! noaihwoef



what the fuuuuugggg!!!