ADHD

Nope. I dont have ADHD. But my head sure are messed up. I just need to think everything at once. Constantly losing focus. Doing things half way. 

What i know now is, everything is not accordig to my plan. But to think it back, i dont have any plan. I didnt make one. So let me rephrase the first sentence of this paragraph again. - Everything that happened is just so unpredictable - 

Because of few circumstances, i made a few steps that i thought could help make others comfortable, happy n blablabla.

What i didnt know is, nothing is in my control. These past few days, i have to wipe my tears, and to hold back my thought. 

If i can make things better, i sure will make that choice. But what options do i have. To whom should i turn to. Talk to. I just want to sleep. For a long period of time. I want to cry. Like really crying. Sobbing. 

And on top of all the problem that i have now, my car decided to make a weird sounds that coming from the ekzos. Bloody hell. Im done. Seriously.

Unanswered Q's

Sometimes aku questioned diri aku gak. Nape die wat mcm ni. Nape die wat cm tu. Let say la kan... 

Kawan J baru habis makan. Naik ofis. Datang tempat aku, pass duit. 

Kawan J: beb tolong belikan buah.

Aku : bereh boh..

Hari2 jadi bnd yang sama. So aku mcm pelik. Kenapa ko xbeli sendiri waktu ko pegi makan tadi?. Haishh. Name pun kawan. So beli jelah. Tapi KENAPA??

Sorang lagi. Kawan G. 

Kawan G: beb, i need your help plz..! 

Aku : ngape plak ni.

Kawan G: my dad got brain tumor. I need to buy the train ticket to go back to ipoh. Return ticket. Plz beb.

Aku : la ye ke. 

Kawan G : ya, my brothers cannot buy for me. They all not here. Holiday. I really need u to buy d tix for me. Nxt week is labour day. Takut tix habis.

Aku dalam hati : bukan kah hari ni kau off day? Esok pun kau off day. Bukankah kau punya boifren sekarang? Bukankah banyak betul cousins brother kau yg selalu spend masa clubbing n dinner n all? 

Aku jawab: ok lah. I try. If i da beli i inform u

U get what i mean or not? Like seriously, if its an urgency for u, then go ahead n buy the tix yourself la oi. Ko tengah off day selama dua hari. Watdehell?. I mean seriously. Seriously?!!

Operasi tabah

Everyday except saturday n sunday aku try sehabis baek untuk buat overtime. Start work at 8am n finish at 7pm. Im doing my best to pay all my debts. 

Aku harap aku takkan rasa malas untuk datang keje. Ini je kerja yang aku mampu cari. Kalau aku belaja usaha rajin2 dulu maybe boleh sambung jadi reporter. Tak menyesal tapi terkilan ( cam sama je maksud. Abaikan)

Relationship wid mama so far so good. Relationship wid siblings so far so bad

Relationship with others : it isss sooo depend on your attitude towards me.

Relationship wid ma cat: soo complicated.

Relationship wid ma creater: complicated n its all ma fault.