sape bapak?

semalam aku agak tekejut beruk tengok wall aku. cousin aku tulis something yang aku agak confuse+ala2 marah+pelik. die cakap "sebijik cam bapak die. haha"

if orang tau sape aku, siapa family aku. topik bapak bukan topik main2. even close fren ke kawan biasa ke kawan macam xnk kawan ke they wont mention pasal bapak2. sebab sume orang cam tu. kite kenal ngan sum frens, and we hv boundaries. sbb melayu kan pemalu (??) or sopan santun (????). we dont need to know the details of their family. cukup la if kite tau die ade abang, or kakak or adik, ade mak bapak or single father or single mother or anak yatim. thats all we need to know. unless la kite memang kawan rapat+kamcing+bagai aur dengan tebing+isi dengan kuku+boyfren/girlfren/fiancee/hubby/wife+anak/kakak/abang/adik angkat.

so back to the topic motherfucker

orang yg tulis kat wall aku tu cousin.cousin yang tau ape yang jadi dlm family. and post yang die tulis kat wall tu seriously menghumban aku kat bilik yang penuh dengan exclamation mark+question mark. ape yang die pikir or nampak kat dalam profile aku smp die tulis post cam tu? gambar profile? gamba aku ngn daniel. die tak penah pun tengok bapak daniel. aku tak penah pun letak pix bapak daniel kat mn2 album. bapak aku? mmg ar die penah tengok. tapi aku still cam 'biar betul minah ni tulis bende ni kat wall aku'. she supposed to be cousin yang paling baik hati. or aku yang salah faham? haaa ni yang buat aku confuse.

muke aku cam bapak aku? i dont c any part of my face that looks like him since i dont hv any image of him. since i was a baby. bile orang tanye aku pasal ayah, terus je automatic aku teringat kat arwah ayah. n not my real father. bukan aku sengaja. tapi memang automatic dalam otak+hati. i cant control. cam last week kak Fify tanya aku

Fify: when was d last time u saw ur father?
aku :before he die obviously
Fify: i meant ur real father
aku : owh..jasubfiau juhdl;aisnda "£$&* 3125 sajnajfbljnana aksndan (aku explained dlm jwapan yg paling simple n bg ayat yg mmg tak leh buat kak fify tnye pape lg

so when me, myself determined not to hv any feeling to my real father because i dont know him+he dont want to know bout me+all my family members know bout the story = i am so fucking dont expect any statement that i hv spitting image of my real father which i hate, or i hv attitude like him which i hate as well. so are u fucking understand what im saying? yes i dont need that bloody bloke to be my father cos i dont need one. who cares because of him i am here breathing in this world. i never asked for that.

so cousin, i dont care how close ur family are with him. juz dont mention his name and i want nothing to relate with him. i know i hv his blood. n it just a bloody blood. doesnt mean anything at all.

so thats the story today.
so long suckers

kiss-sah

bila kite mule bejalan kedepan, tak mungkin kite tak berpaling kebelakang. lihat apa yang sudah kite tinggalkan, mengerling apa yang tak mampu kite bawa bersama. dan bagi aku, apa yang aku tinggalkan di belakang adalah kesalahan aku. dosa aku. tapi masalahnyer kesalahan tu... aishh, mmg susah kalau nak di terangkan. memang panjang nak tulis. and aku memang tak tau nak tulis dari mana.

tapi aku yang jadi dulu, tak buat aku sedih. buat aku gembire. buat aku selalu senyum. buat aku rase best. buat aku rase aku ada satu dunia untuk aku. apa aku buat aku tau ade yang slalu tlg dengarkan, tolong pujukkan, tlg tenangkan. memang aku salah. sebab aku yang mulakan. tapi ape yang aku rase dalam hati, aku sendiri tak blh halang. sacrifice die, aku tengok, aku rasa. aku manusia. aku pun terusik. even dekat mulut, aku poyo maki2. tapi dalam hati, tuhan je tau betapa aku terharu. 

tak elok asyik berangan. dan tu yang kitorang buat. berangan, berkhayal, bermimpi. aku khayalkan bende yang tak mampu untuk terjadi, dia mimpikan sesuatu yang lebih. paling teruk kami terus berangan. terlampau ramai yang bersangkut paut dalam kisah ni. pantang satu isu, dia pulak yang melebih menangis. tapi aku suka. aku suka dapat pujuk. aku suka tengok aku mampu usik hati dia. aku suka tengok si macho tahan esak untuk ucap stiap patah yang dia rasa. sumpah, aku tak berniat buat kau nangis sayang.

aku suka bila, sgala berkaitan dengan dia, ada aku. macam sleeping partner, macam shareholder. tapi entah macam mana. semuanya terhenti. aku cuba kutip semuanya, tapi aku tau aku tak mampu. dan dia pun belum tentu mampu tinggalkan apa yand dia ade sekarang untuk sambung cerita lama. tapi dia memang akan ada di SINI. dia penah menjadi shareholder aku jugak. im missing u. but i wont admit it. i know u had enough of bullshit to take care of and i dont want to be just another reasons for you cursing dan menambahkan dosa. so... diam2 sudeh. haih~~

halal x halal

dah heboh satu benua yang kat Britain ni most of the restaurent/school/hotel ape2 yang ade jual makanan daging, dorang lebih prefer untuk gune daging halal. sume orang Islam mmg bangga. aku pun rasa bagus. aku bace kat thread dalam komuniti2 sume pun cakap yang nk datang britain nnt kire selamat la nk makan daging. well, insya'Allah daging nyer halal tapi cara penyediaan mknan tu belum sure lagi. dorang kan suke letak wine sket, pastu ape2 la dorang nak letak yang kononnye wat makanan tu sedap.

orang2 Islam mmg suke yang penggunaan daging halal kat tempat makan. tapi orang kat Britain ni, yang lawya ni memang tak puas ati. sumenye ade je tak kene ngan dorang. dorang kate di sebabkan nak menghalalkan daging tu, orang Islam sembelih daging tu dengan tak berperikemanusian. dorang prefer binatang tu kne renjatan dulu, baru d sembelih. kononnye tak de la terseksa binatang itu. bak kata mereka la.

tapi nak di pikir-pikir balik. memang binatang e.g kambing, lembu, ayam tu untuk di makan. nak makan mmg kne sembelih. so cam mane cara sembelih pun tetap sembelih kan? sebagai Islam aku tau, memang ade sebabnye kenapa sesuatu perkara tu harus di ikut cara tertibnya. for this case ialah kenapa kita perlu makan daging halal. bukan sebab cara sembelih saje or sbb kite islam, tapi sebab memang ade kebaikan. n memang da terbukti dari segi scientific. dagingnya lebih tahan lama, darah kotor dalam daging tu lagi senang di cuci n few other reasons.

tapi ade gak orang nak condemn pasal daging halal ni. if diorang rase dorang tak nak makan daging halal, g la ternak sendiri sume hewan. lagipun kat cni, daging halal murah if nak compare ngn daging lain. kan da punya lebih sebab tuk memilih daging halal.

copp! ini ialah opinion. dis is my opinion. you should know definition of opinion (in case sumone want to blast me about dis topic) + dis is my blog. sukati ar.

poyo ke gile

laptop yang bernama bujang tu da rosak sebab software di hancuqkan oleh panglima bernama trojen horse. iye, ianya sangat merncarut berbakul-bakul dan berlori2. tapi i tabahkan hati i yang memang pilu, sayu, sebak,sedih, tak rase d hargai, kesunyian, lonely dan banyak lagi perasaan.

sekali zaren cakap kawan die yang dok kat manchester leh tolong betulkan. so aku pun nyuruh zaren cakap ngan kawan die yang bernama Amirul Azan tu. if tak boleh, xpela. aku xde la nak kacau idup die. tapi die kate kat zarren yang die boleh tlg. so aku pun dengan senang hati, aku pun add die. dengan harapan nak bertanya pasal laptop. bukan aku nak suruh die jadi kaunter pertanyaan. aku nak tanye je cam ne aku nak kasi laptop tu kat die. nak suh aku anto depan umah die? boleh je. nak send gune Royal Mail? tak de hal. asal bujang sihat, aku da ok da.

bodo la. tgk skrg aku da sebak. da la hormon air mate aku ni lately asek nak tesembur je.

so, nak mulekan ayat tanye secara orang yang normal, aku msg die sperti brikut.

" Between Amirul Azan and You

Taby Romli September 16 at 7:01pm

ola amirul.

ni kawan zaren, yang nak mintak tolong betulkan notebook tu. zaren kate amirul blh btlkan. nnt nawi bayar. nawi nk mntak tlg formatkan sbb notebook tu da jd gl sbb da kne attack ngn trojan horse. pastu notebook tu xde cd rom. blh ka tlg?

so adekah aku ade macam kurang aja? aku rs cam sopan je da tu. aku nak pggl ko-aku kang. boleh je. tapi tetibe ckp kurang ajo plaks.da la xkenal. tetibe nak 'ko-aku'. nak u-i plak mmg ar aku xbese gile babi. so yang mmg slalu aku gune ngan sesape jua d mana anda berada ialah gune name.

eee! smp skarang tak reply2 msg ni. poyo ke ape. if btl la tetibe tak de ati nak tlg aku, ckp je la ko bz ke ape.  ini senyap cam kunyit (kunyit xde mulut. so pengunaan kunyit adelah praktikal) eee la hai. sesape yg blh tlg blasah si amirul azan, sile la. eeh jgn.jgn blasah. bg die kasih syg je. so satu ari nnt, bl ade orang mntak tlg kat die, hopefully ngn senang ati die blh tlg orang tesebut.

p/s ade budak kat birmingham kenal ngn amirul azan ini. die mengatakan bahawa amirul azan ni poyo. aku xjawab pape sbb aku tak kenal amirul azan. tp tedetik kat ati aku ms ade budak kate 'amirul yg pkai merc tu? bdak tu poyo' die yang poyo. tgk, aku lagi back up si amirul azan ni, even xkenal die. cittt. nak bawak diri!!!! nak mati cam bujang jgk. nak koma cam bujang jgk.

p/s kali terakhir. syg, nk kamu

lagi lagi raya

so.. da sampai manchester ari semalam. hari ni betungkus lumus kemas umah. arap2 everthing is ok. harap2 sume pn ok. takut gile ni. tak tau nk cakap cam ne. tu la sape suh g birmingham tak bgtau kak fifi. kan padan muke. haaa umah tak kemas lak tu. takpe. tau tak ape alasan yg nak di kasi? 1st raya,2nd raya n 3rd raya ari2 nanges. petang 3rd raya tu baru klua rumah jalan2 smp malam. smp sesat. so tak de mase kemas umah. hahaha. cun la tu kan. omaigod. tak pasang pillow case kak fifi. jap. BRB

im bek bebeh

ok settle.

so ape yang tak settle lg. cuci toilet kat loft. tones of laundry. haaa tu je ar. omaigod. aku rase nk tido skrg kalo blh. blh tak nk tido? nnt kak fifi balik cam ne? mati den. hmmmm pening2.

nak balik umah, tak de ati nk duk manchester lagi. tlg la phm. nk balik!!!! nak balik!

raya manchester to birmingham

1st raya - met zarren and her friends at Arndale shopping centre. Hana and Nadia. straight away can get along. no trouble at all. Nadia seems to know much of everything. she loves books. came from wealthy family, but with brain. which is very good. she know how to cook. even better. her ayam masak merah is superb. first day at manchester they all stayed in me n kak fifi's house. Nadia do d cooking and rest of us do the dishes and stuff. and i was in doubt whether to tagged my self with 'em, which means i will travell with 'em to birmingham. pssstt.. without kak fifi's knowledge. but kak fifi do know bout zaren and birmingham. and she doesnt like the idea me going travelling without her. i know kak fifi have dis responsibilities to make sure im in a good condition in her supervision la kan. but, what d hell. im in uk. europe. the first reason i came to uk-europe is to experiencing a liltle bit much of everything. and travelling from on city to another is a must babe. omg. im in uk, should i strended my self in one town? hell no. and kak fifi is not here. the babies is not here. so, what else? a fair and good reasons why i need to get my ass out of manchester.

so now about Hana. very soft. very delicate. but full of emotion. she is pretty. her father is a diplomate. she used to travell from one country to another in every 4 years. her english is good. US accent. she has boyfriend. named Juon. hikhik. she's the youngest in dis pack i think. She very good in making pasta.very good with kids. shes friendly. but i didnt talk much with her. well, i didnt talk to much to everyone here. im just like a spice here. a lil bit of here and there. thats all. 

will update soon. tata

does zol know bout this?

eveyrday i will wait for him. everyday i will make sure aku yang akan tunggu die, aku xnk die tgu aku. n hari ni, aku tau die balik kampung. aku tak mintak pun die skype ngn aku mase die kat kampung. tapi die yang nak sangat. die yang kate die nak online. die yang suruh aku tunggu die. die yang cakap, die memang akan online. i never make fuss now bout SMS thing. i know its a burden for him. i dont know whether its a burden or what. just assume it is a burden since it is so hard for him to do it.

its near to raya. n to stay far from family, is already a challenge. and to connect with family or friends in whenever time i can find is a total peace of mind. i wont make such a fuss about today if zol cakap awal2 die nk tolong family die kemas umah. n its not like he is d only child. her brother n sister are already there. extra helping hand dont u think? so i call zol at 5.30 am in the morning. n he want me to wait till 6 oclock. even the plan that he arrange earlier was to on skype at 4am. of coz it wont happened. fine. watever for him. n now its 7 o'clock in d morning. n all i got is nothing. i call him again.just want to listen to d explanation. i didnt blow up. i play it cool. n after hang up, he want me to on skype. n i did. again. he fucking playing me!
bodo la. u really dont know the price of waiting eh zol? i spent most of my teenagers life waiting for u to be mature, waiting for u to start flying. n now u want me to wait, again? no tengs.

ross harried n raya

aku nyer account youtube tu mmg slalu aku bukak. mmg hari2 aku on. tpi aku tak penah pun check kat bahagian comment tu.sbb slalunye ade nortification YT kasi if ade comment baru. lagpun aku bknnye ade upload pape yang membolehkan youtubers len nk comment kat page aku. so semalam aku sje je la scroll. ade 2 comment baru. but it marked as pending comment.aku cam nk tau ape yang dorang tulis n sape yg kasi. so aku approve kan comment. sekali! ross harried yang bagi comment!! ross harried yang aku suke nk tgk tu bg comment. but its not chessy comment or watsoeva. just a copy paste comment kot aku rase.sbb tak kan die nk tulis comment kat sume orang yg subscribe kan. lotih tgn abg ross tu nnt. i was so thrill bcos he did clicked on my name n make an effort to copy paste/write d comment.

here is d prove beybeh.

just so u know, i didnt notice that my youtube channel have d exact same colours like this blog. im not doing it on purpose. maybe i just love black+red+splash of white n grey here n there. cam warna2 cartoon Emily yg emo tu je. ntah2 aku ni memang emo tp dalam versi gelap/hitam/legap sket.

i feel so invisible right now. i know i'd once said that i dont need billion of friend. but doesnt mean i like to be alienated by them. hmm conclusion :? sometimes i really want to be alone without friends, but i somehow i want to be part of friendship.

n yes, im an egoistic, self centred and emo.

ola sucker

so.. i already text kak fify about me wanting to buy camcorder. well i need her help to place my order since i dont hv any credi card. i shud hv apply for a debit card b4 i fly here.kan kan kan. but its ok. nnt kang if ade debit card kang, asek ade je bnd aku beli online. mati ler. so.... mayb aku dapat cam dlm selase or rabu.
aku beli toshiba camileo P30. cam bese la HD resolution. pastu blahblahblah. pet pun da tengok camcorder tu, die pn jatuh cinta ngn bnd alah tu. so maybe i will get him one for his birthday.. we'll c.

ok, babai sucker!

camcorders

since datang dari uk, aku asek la nak camcorder. agak desperate sbenanye nak camcorder. tapi nak gak dslr. pastu pening2, pastu last2 beli handphone yang ade HD, bh record vid n beli amik quality picture (konon2 nye a ken). last2 phone tu rosak. sori to say, tapi aku memang geram smp rase nak mencarut abi banyak kali. cam ne tak mencarut, handphone tu lg mahal dr notebook aku. hmmm... memang disaster july la bile memule hp rosak, pastu laptop lak rosak. in d same month. sape yang tak de perasaan nak marah tu, mmg bagus ar. aku tak brape bagus, so aku mmg nak marah2 je slalu.

skrg ni aku kne carik duit lebih. sbb nye sume family kat kl pn ngah wat part time. so aku pun kne ar betindak mengikut apa kata survey kan. tapi maybe aku nyer pendekatan dlm mencari duit lebih ade la len sket n mmg lmbat sket dpt duit. aku akan try, result lom tentu lg. tp even aku tak dapat sesen dr keje ni, aku still akan wat gak sbb aku pny suke nak wat ape. kuikuikui

so bebalik kpd camcorder ni, since aku da tak de laptop n tak de phn canggih, aku nak beli camcorder lak. aku nak gak..!!! tak kire..!! nak camcorder. lagipun raye ni aku tak balik. so maybe aku leh la record hari2 aku beraya sorang diri. hmmm.. sume nye akan tinggalkan aku g jenjalan. so bia ar aku ngn idup aku ngn camera aku n mayb ngan malboro aku.

aku mmg da lame gie tak smoke. aku pn bukannye heavy smoker, aku social smoker je. kat umah sewa dl mmg slalu gak isap, tapi kat lua umah, aku pnah isap sekali je. tu pn ngn kaz. sbb aku bosan gl borak2 ngn die. so..ermmm.. mayb sbb aku pn smakin tension skrg.aku pn tak tau tension sbb ape. bkn ade umah kne bayar pon. bukan ade kreta nk kne bayo pn. ooo ye tp aku tetap tensi pasal duit. bile la nk cukup2 ni kan. arap2 lg 4 bulan cukup ar...
so sbb tensi yang ntah pape tu, buat aku rse nak smoke balik. tp aku rase da nk dekat 2 taon gak aku tak isap. tebatuk le gamaknye.

ye, aku jahat.

bestfren

aku memang yakin yang aku sekarang jalan sorang2. oi, bongok gile. kadang2 aku ade perasan malas nak becakap yang buat aku tak ramai kawan. boleh kire ar brape ramai je kawan ngan aku. yang kawan ngan aku ialah manusia yang bnyak caka[. which is good, sbb aku boleh tlg gelak n tlg dengar. aku tak reti nak susun ayat bile nk becakap...aku memang tak de idea nak cakap ape ngan sume orang.

kawan2 yg slalu aku borak ialah shah, bedul, lukman, pet n ekin n kadang2 lisa. shah memang bnyak sgt ckp, bedul mmg bnyk sgt bnd nak kenekan aku, lukman bnyk sgt nak cari pasal, pet banyak sangat sayang, ekin banyak sangat nak gosip n kadang2 lisa bnyak sangat problem.

aku memang sunyi. aku nak bekawan, tapi kadang2 aku je yg kne wat effort tuk bekawan. aku ramai je kawan prempuan. tapi aku tak tau ar ape yg wat aku tak rapat sangat dgn dorang.rapat gitu2 je... nak klua mkn sesame, shopping sesame, mmg jauh sekali la. if aku klua pn aku klua ngn pet,shah n ekin. mmg kitorang bekepit je every weekend. tp pas ekin ade bf, die ngn bf die da. tggl aku, pet n shah. masalahnye pet n shah ni suke nk becekau. aku harap2 one day aku dapat bestfren perempuan yang best. yg mampu buat aku rase normal

ross harried

from stirfrytv n ijustine, aku tau pasal ross harried yg sangat cool. ross harried yang gempak gile men drum n pandai gile lukis. talents that i wish i hv. so... start dari situ aku add die nyer facebook. personal facebook die eh n die approve. m not sure whether he do have fan page. pastu aku tengok die nyer blog n bg satu comment kat one of his post. n post tu mmg yang da lame sbb die tak update blog die pn. and after aku bg comment br die cam tesedar die da lame tak update blog die. so die pun update le.

u know what that's mean??! he read my comment! pastu harini, die invite aku join satu travel group ke Kenya. mmg la die just click my name randomly. tapi the fact that he clicked my name already make me floating. ok, not floating, but he did make me feels good.

n here is d prove. wahaha. printscreet siot.

die nyer inital ialah ~!2oss

n aku pun mmg ade initial. mesti ar nak same gak ngn ross kan. aku nyer ialah: 5ha22
hahha cool kan.

*tak langsung*

tak pe asalkan aku hepi. so what happened today. airel call. mls gl nak angkat. smlm angkat, tp aku cakap aku nak tido. hmmm.. gile malas nk contact die.

bedul hapis

aku tau aku normal. tapi kejadian sekeliling aku tak semuanya normal. for example: - aku ade kawan yg aku panggil bedul. aku kena die since aku umo 18 thn. mase tu bedul umo 17 tahun. aku kenal die kat yahoo messenger chat. ya. LAME. i know. so start dari situ kitorang kawan, reply-reply email. kitorang memang sangat sempoi. aku memang suke hati je nak cakap ape kat die. die pun mencarut sesuke ati je kat aku. kitorang tak penah jumpe. bukan tak nak jumpe, tapi tak perlu jumpe pun aku rase. aku sgt selesa je cam ni, n aku tau die pun same. dari dulu sampai sekarang die same je. aku pun same je. tapi aku da dapat rase yang die macam da semakin membesar. what i meant is semakin mature. there is one side of him that i didnt know exist because we never meet face to face. everything about us is texting dari phone, pastu email. myspace, facebook. da 6 tahon aku kawan dengan die. gile bapak gempak. seriously ni kawan paling lama n paling tak pernah lost contact aku pernah ade.

aku penah tolong die break up ngan sorang ex die dlu. sbb bedul ni sengal, nak clash tapi tak tau nak cakap. couple pandai lak. hampeh tol. aku jarang cite masalah aku kat die n die pun tak de ar nak share sume problem die ngan aku. tapi mase aku kat kolej, mmg msg hari2 la. phone aku tu tak penah senyap. text from bf, pastu si bedul. mmg blh lumbe2 la. hahaha

so bedul, tengs ar tegur aku mase kat ym chat dl. hahaha. aku ingat lagi ko punye email yg sume cam bapak sopannye. sekarang cam pelesit je. hahaha. pe pun best of luck weh in everything you do. yg penting ko mmg psycho n aku mmg cool dr dl. aku tau ko senang kwn ngn aku sbb ko kate aku ni tak sentap cam kawan perempuan ko yg lain. aku tau sbb ko bgtau. heheh. ok so... babai

di dam dam

demi kekasihhh..

ah hek mung kekasih. demi selera orang puase yang semakin menggile terhadap diri, so aku pun dengan sepantas jari menaip mencari recipe untuk masak mee. so dapatlah recipe mee goreng basah. kol 8 tepat aku masak. pastu 10 minit lepas tu mee goreng basah aku pun siap. so aku pun ngaplah. memang bosan gile la mee aku tu. tak menarik pun. memang ar ade udang, sotong, cili, mee, daun bawang, tp kalo ati memang tak de ati nak mkn. tak leh jalan gak kan. tapi abes gak satu mangkuk mee aku blasah. pas kemas dapo aku pun terus nek bilik. n sekarang aku ngah menaip.

soooo aku ingat nk g birmingham raye ni. tp cam ntah ler... aku nak duk umah je. so instead of going there i'd asked zareen to come over. if die bawak sorang kawan ok le. if die bawak segerombolan mmg tak dapek ar kan. gile ape aku nk jd host tuk orang seramai maybe 7 orang. tak mampu macik, nak oi. lagipun ni umah kak fifi. n aku cakap kat kak fifi yang zaren sorang je datang.

memang, sgt macam budak2 kan aku ni. terase macam "kite bukan tak nak bagi awk pinjam crayon kite, tapi mak kite nanti marah kite". ya, sort of. nanti kang tetibe sky tv tu punye pin code terblock, mati aku. tak kan nk kol kak fifi yang kat amsterdam tu just nak suh die kol sky side n reset pin tu. well, dat is not d only case. i dont know their behaviour. even zaren pun aku da tak jmp about 3 years.so i dont know what to expect though. so maybe i just keep dis place for my own. no interruption. beside, i have few illegal things to do. such as.... lucky strike if u know what i mean. hehe.

so long suckers!

sakday n sunday

saturday, sharp 4pm aku ngan kak fifi chow g bazar ramadhan kat Cheetham Hill. omaigod, sgt ramai melaiz! tp sangat hampa sbb sume nye pun da kawen, so how d hell im going to get British Passport if i cant find any melaiz to marry with. i dont want to be just Malaysian in Malaysia. i want to be Malaysian in UK or US or Japan or Germany. ye sangat tinggi kan impian. so aku beli nasi kandar, beli air longan. well mmg slalunye kat mesia aku tak beli pn bnyk2 bnd. unless if g ngn syg. mmg tetibe je nk beli sume. hahaha

pastu mase nak beli air longan ni, aku cam teragak2 lagi nak beli. so aku mcm tengok la air tu n tgk tuan yg jual tu. aku tengok org yg jual tu sbb die tengook aku. well if orang tu tengok ko and die bediri kat behind table kedai tu, mst la ko igt die tuan pny kedai kan. so aku ngn sopan santun, lemah lembut aku cakap la aku nak air tu satu. pastu ngn poyo nye die tak becakap spatah haram die just tunjuk kat tuan nye kedai. so aku pun cakap la 'owh..ok' in other word 'awkwarddddddddd'. ntah pape btl. eee..

so arini plak iaitu sunday. aku pg umah kak yamin. die ajak bukak pose. n aku beli coklat daim kat ikea td. idk y but d taste is not tingling to my taste bud. kalo dlu, pantang nmpk daim, laju je aku terkam. maybe sbb aku da bnyk mkn coklat yg sedap. so aku rs daim da xsedap? beli bnyk lak tu. aremm. so ok la tata.

august yang ke 20

so...... im hungry. memang tak baik cakap yang kite lapa mase bulan puase. but lets face it, memang lapa pun. ok. lets forget bout this lapa stuff sebab memang kewajiban sebagai seorang umat islam. Aku berpuase kerana Allah s.w.t

so... ive done planning my goals n stuff to do once i get my butt kiss Metro bus kat KL.

masak nasi ayam hari ni. should i or should i not add ayat Pet dalam fren list? erghh... i dont know. should i? its not like me and her father have 'father - daughter in law conversation' before this. we just stay silence. pffftt.... i seriously dont know what to do. hmmm, maybe that is the best. do nothing. yup. do nothing. PERRRFECTTO!

puasa hari ke 10... nothing much to expect. same old same old. start blogging again. i just feel like teeling someone about me n myself. so people is not a good choice. so blog is the best though. erm, raye... hmmm maybe g birmingham. i dont know. raye ngn zaren. but i dont tell kak fifi bout this plan just yet. maybe later. maybe not.if tetibe plan tak jadi. hohoho.

ok la. papai

another 2 days

another 2 days will make a month since my last update for any blogs i have. which is not cool. im dying to type. well actually im not dying to type i just want to surf the net!!!

so arrangement has been made. aku sampai m'sia on February. which will make pet scream. bcox i told him that ill be arriving on january n on february we will be on our very first vacation. maybe will make shah scream as well.

so what's the latest news wanni?

well.. been talking on d phne with pet n i told him about guys that i'd been close to since our short separation. n he go ballistic. that is not new. tapi, die cakap he want to take this relationship to another level. which is engagement level. n i was thingking 'you want us to be engage because you dont want any guys come closer to me or you really want me to be yours fully'. i know he did show his commitment with me plus shah never ever forget to remind me how pet 'worshipping' me.

what make today is a lovely morning is, mama send me a message. ok ok replied my message. it is a very long message. n i love every words of it. uuuu.. windu...

so since it is puase n like mama said, i need to change. n i will start from today. insya'Allah.

so hapi ramadhan n i know it might be to early to wish but selamat hari raya to all..

actually there is so many thing i want to brag about. but i just want to leave it a rest.huhuhu tara.

New phone

Hv u ever listened to story bout how silly sumone can be in a desperate time. Well i thought it wont happen to me. Of cos i never ever see myself doing sumthing silly jux bcox of depression, but who knows. I can 'rectify' my self from bad situation, but when it has to deal with sumone else, my silly brain cells will ring a bell.

So here is d story. Me kk fifi n her kids supposed to watch shrek 4 together. Well dat is a plan. But of cos,life has its own way of direction. So me end up hang out at bookstore. Where else can i be. I am broke with 50pounds in hand. My phn battery is almost empty,i dont hv any spare phn.how d hell m going to text kak fifi telling where i am. So with a gentle touch, i click 'create message'. And of cos, life has its own plan. The battery is out. I tried to switch it on after a few minutes n still doesnt work. I cant remember kak fifi's phn number. And dis is not k.l where there are few phone booths dat i can charge my handphone.

So i found dis carphone warehouse.hopefully there is a gadget where i can charge my battery by using dry AA battery. I'd saw dis gadget once. Unforunately all dey have is for iphone.so i start looking for a phone.a cheap phone can do.n i found dis cheap phone for only 4.59pound. Fucking crazy!!its a rili basic phn.so cheap.so i bought it.haha. But it didnt cost me 4.59,bcx i need to buy dat stupid simcard n topup.it is part of d deal.so all in all it cost me 24.59pound and mind peace. So i dont hv to worry about emptied phn battery n dis time life has its mercy on me.

So after d movie, we had lunch n kak fifi asked me whether i bought anything. N with confidence i said no.

Buttttt, dis life full of suprises yawww...

I dont knw y sofia need to scrouching my drawerrrr!!! So kak fifi found out bout d nw phn. I played it cool.i said i bought it long time ago. N kak fifi thought it is for my malaysia number. N i cudnt agree more. Hahaha.

Nabil

Have dis thing ever happened to u?u write an email to a fren, sms to dear one, or even an entry to publish at ur blogspot,but suddenly bcox of one stupid touch to the wrong button, everything deleted. U cant undo, u cant back to previous page. Blank, devastated, dissappointed, frustrated. U cant write the exact same thing like the last time. Even if u tried it seems so unreal. Because u had put ur spontaneous,ur feelings, ur views n stuff to the one that got deleted.

And when you about to done, aaaa.. U knw what happened.

N it sucks.

U c,expect the unexpected they said. But seriously, i dont hv much time to think about what could go wrong after this.so i dont want to expect anything.i jux want to dream. Dream without any hope. Yeah. It is more safe. I can dream about getting a big hug by mr.nabil which i'd admire without telling anyone up til now.

Blablabla, good nite

Bukan dia,tetapi....

Yeah,lame gile tak post sumthing kat cni.everything is so hectic nowadays. Aku dlm kesukaran dlm membahabi masa. Mane nak check email dari peminat tersayang,mn nk cek facebook dan membalas komen dari stalker2, dan surat layang d dalam inbox.

Dewasa ini,facebook juge berada di hujung jari.bukan ja d ujung jari,kadang terbawa2 dlm mmpi. Apekah alamatnye jika bermmpi tntang facebook?dpt kawen dato' kah, dapat masuk akademi fantasia kah?dpt bersalam dgn menteri sukan kah?

Yaaaa....ape aku mlalut ni labu. Yang penting, bajet tuk holiday da siap.

Shahriman monteiro juga spertinya stuju untuk mengikut lawatan sambil berjoli d negeri pahang dan terengganu.dengn sedaya upaya,aku yang jg saya akan menggoda/mengugut pet untuk mnjadi solo driver spnjang dr kl ke klantan.

Aku yg jg saya dan juge pet mmg mahu mengundang shahriman monteiro dlm sesi lawatan smbil berjoli.sbb die masih single,kacak dn berbudi pekerti...malah tidak keterlaluan sekiranya sy berkata yang shahriman masih teruna.

Sebagai kesimpulannya,walau holiday lmbt lg,tp sy dpt merasai debarannya. Hepi sokmo deh.